102015 You're an alien aren't you
clownfishCurator CC began pestering gaslampTragedian GT at 21:37 -- 09:37 CC: hello, "jack" 09:37 GT: hello. 09:37 GT: you're kyle, right? 09:38 GT: or maybe "kyle" 09:38 CC: yep, that's me 09:38 GT: if we're playing the superfluous quotation marks game. 09:38 CC: oh no, i'm just kyle thanks 09:38 GT: okay. 09:39 CC: so i've heard you're involved in some sort of "game" with some other "players" 09:39 GT: aren't you one of the "players" in said "game?" 09:39 CC: i've made a deal to participate, but there's a problem we need to get out of the way first 09:40 CC: but don't worry about that for now 09:40 GT: is it this ridiculous sexual tension? because we can work through it. i have my eyes on someone else anyway. 09:41 CC: i 09:41 CC: god no 09:41 CC: no, no, your tactics aren't going to work here 09:41 GT: that's a shame. 09:42 CC: anyway, "jack" 09:42 GT: yes, "kyle." 09:42 CC: where are you from, exactly? 09:42 GT: pittsburgh 09:43 CC: hmm, i see 09:43 CC: anyone who can confirm that? 09:44 GT: my aunt could, but she doesn't really believe in the internet. she's one of those luddite types. 09:45 CC: of course, of course 09:45 CC: moving on then 09:46 CC: tell me a little about yourself if you don't mind 09:47 GT: what do you want to know? 09:48 CC: anything goes 09:48 CC: any hobbies, anything like that? 09:48 CC: stargazing maybe? 09:49 GT: i like programming. and video games. 09:50 GT: and clockwork machines. 09:50 CC: that's, uh 09:50 CC: surprisingly normal 09:50 CC: you like to build machines though? 09:51 GT: sometimes. 09:51 GT: it's just something to tinker with when i'm not programming. i like the sounds the gears make when they're in motion. 09:52 CC: gears and clockwork 09:53 CC: sounds kind of low tech, not really rocket science or anything 09:54 GT: yeah. it's relaxing. not like anything is all that challenging for me anyway. 09:54 CC: oh really? 09:55 GT: well yeah. i'm a genius. 09:55 CC: would you say that you're smarter than most humans? 09:55 GT: easily. 09:56 CC: I see 09:56 CC: that's kind of a bold claim to make 09:56 GT: fortune favors the bold. 09:56 GT: anyway, false modesty is just lying. 09:57 GT: i believe in honesty. and honestly, i'm incredibly, incredibly smart. 09:57 CC: honesty, huh? 09:57 GT: also attractive. i know you didn't ask that, but i thought it was worth mentioning. 09:58 GT: because it's something people deserve to know. 09:58 CC: yeah yeah i'm sure buddy 09:58 CC: but, i mean 09:59 CC: everybody lies sometimes, even if it's just a white lie 09:59 CC: so to claim that you're honest 09:59 CC: is lying in itself 09:59 CC: meaning that you're dishonest 09:59 CC: an honest person would claim that they weren't 09:59 CC: hahaha, you've slipped up now 10:00 GT: have i? 10:01 CC: of course you have, i mean 10:02 CC: well 10:02 CC: uh 10:03 CC: where were you in july of 1947 10:04 GT: that was 68 years ago. 10:04 CC: you did that math awfully fast, don't you think? 10:04 GT: i believe i mentioned i'm very very smart. 10:04 GT: and also a programmer. 10:05 GT: i'm not 68 though. i would've thought that was obvious. 10:05 CC: right, well, 10:05 CC: why would that have been obvious? 10:06 CC: i'm not a telepath, is that something you're used to? 10:06 GT: because i'm a kid. and human children aren't 68 years old. i would've thought any human was aware of that fact. now i'm suspicious... 10:06 GT: ...might you be....an alien?! 10:07 CC: what. 10:07 GT: that explains all these questions. trying to figure out a proper backstory for your disguise. 10:07 GT: to come off as human. 10:07 GT: by copying my answers. 10:07 CC: hahaha now you've done it 10:07 CC: casting suspicion on me to draw attention away from yourself 10:07 CC: oh, i see what you're playing at here 10:08 CC: no way am i giving you any info to disprove that 10:08 CC: gonna have to try a different angle 10:09 GT: don't try to pull your alien mind games on me. i'm on to you now. 10:11 CC: MY alien mind games?! 10:11 CC: wait 10:12 CC: an alien pretending to be a human wouldn't mention aliens, would they 10:12 CC: and i have been doing the mind game thing here 10:12 CC: uh 10:15 CC: alright, fine, i'll believe that you're who you say you are, "jack" 10:15 CC: for now anyway 10:19 GT: i'm not sure i can believe you're really who you say you are. 10:19 GT: but it's not like it's something i care much about. 10:19 GT: like if you're an alien, that's cool. 10:20 GT: nbd 10:20 GT: i always wanted an alien bestie. 10:21 CC: i 10:21 CC: what 10:21 CC: aliens pretending to be people aren't cool they're a goddamn threat 10:21 CC: and i am not your bestie alien or not 10:22 GT: now i'm hurt. 10:22 GT: why would anyone not want to be my bestie? 10:23 CC: ah hell i didn't mean to rude, sor- 10:23 GT: i will forgive you. you're new to earth social stuff. 10:23 CC: wait wait no i am not sorry what the hell 10:23 CC: alright look here 10:24 CC: i am not an alien 10:24 CC: ah fuck that's exactly what an alien would say 10:24 GT: yeah, it kind of is. 10:24 CC: this conversation is messing with me, i'm leaving 10:24 GT: okay. and don't worry. i won't tell anyone else you're an alien. 10:24 CC: goodbye human 10:24 GT: goodbye "also human." 10:24 CC: JACK not human 10:25 CC: goddamn it -- clownfishCurator CC ceased pestering gaslampTragedian GT at 22:25 -- Category:Jack Category:Kyle